Where's Waldo?

Where's Waldo?! Well I'm gonna tell you. People always believe the common myth that he's hiding on a book page behind other people, buildings, or bushes. The real story is he was born on July 23rd, 1967. His dad was a drunk and his mom had serious anger issues. He spent his life hiding in his room so he wouldn't have to listen to his parents bicker and fight. He had to deal with that his whole life up until he was 20. That's when he said, "SCREW THIS! I'm leaving." So he packed up all his stuff and set out to the island of Fiji. Once he got there, he was overwhelmed by the sense of freedom that had overcome him. He didn't know what to do with himself. And it was when he was just walking around that he met this amazing girl named Gartee. Needless to say, they got hitched and popped out a few critters. Hopefully that answers the famous question of "Where's Waldo?"